Dec 10, 2023
While individual growth and self-discovery are vital to our
healing and human evolution, we live in the context of a myriad of
relationships. And the end-of-year holidays are a time of year in
which many folks are engaging in a lot of different relationships
at the same time or in close succession.
This December, we're presenting a series called Holiday Horror
Stories. The holiday season replicates the most narrow practices of
family, gender, and relationships; spend three hours watching The
Hallmark Channel for more information. Sometimes the advice from
the psychotherapy and wellness world is helpful, and often it
isn't. This series is focused on surviving through
laughter.
We're joined by our editor and creative genius Nicole
Marinescu, who shares her experiences of:
Orthodoxy and Culture Shock
(22:00): While discussing how the Orthodox Church
functions, Nicole shares her experience with culture shock, "When I
went to my first Catholic service with my boyfriend, he stood there
the whole time and he spoke in English, which shocked me. Because I
genuinely thought all of these services were just Latin, or Greek,
or whatever. And it was only an hour, people shook hands and they
left.” Romanian Orthodox Christianity is not approachable, even to
its own followers, and like EMPish communities focuses on
dedication to God and the Church, even if that Church does not
function in an accessible lounge.
Opulence (27:00): When discussing
differences between EMPish Churches and Orthodoxy, Nicole points
out how Orthodox Priests wear lavish gold gowns and big headpieces.
Though both Church and State are intertwined in America and
Romania, one tries to hide it better from the public eye: “We're
opulent. So I think if you see a picture of [the Priest], then you
understand politically how the church functions within these
countries and how they're held in higher regard than the actual
government that gives you most of the context you need.”
Blood in Context (32:00): During a
discussion of how pig’s blood is openly cooked with, Julia points
out the disparities in our societal view towards different types of
blood: “Jeremiah and I were recently on a menstruation podcast and
I'm thinking we're obsessed with the blood of Jesus, the blood of
pigs, but we can't even talk about periods using accurate language.
We just have sanitary items. It makes me sad that the blood of
a pig would be more important than the blood that I lose every
month.”
Relationships During the Holidays
(35:00): Jeremiah notes societal and religious
pressure on spending the holidays together as a couple, when the
choice to do them apart may be healthier and more beneficial for
certain people. “During the holiday season, American culture
commercializes what many religious contexts do--the idea of
marriage, the enmeshment of relationships, the two shall become
one. That's really cool, Nicole, to hear how you and your partner
have said, no, you know what, we're not going to practice
that.”
Holiday Advice (43:00): Nicole discusses
her favorite tip for surviving annoying Uncles who ask silly
questions during the holidays, who are looking for an argument:
“The best piece of advice I heard is when he says, "What do you
think about gay people?" You look him dead in the eye and you go,
"Kind of weird that you asked me that, why'd you ask?" Their faces
go blue.” Sometimes we do not or cannot always argue, but we can
make them feel uncomfortable for asking a silly question.
Bad Holiday Tips (47:00): Julia notes how the
pop psychology advice of “just put up boundaries” does not work in
a multitude of contexts, immigrant families, EMPish families, etc.
“I was having a conversation with my best friend about this, who is
also a part of an immigrant family. And Jeremiah, you and I have
had conversations about this ad nauseam, the super simplistic pop
psychology language of setting boundaries and just cutting toxic
people out drives me fucking crazy for a lot of reasons.”